Three Mouseketeers

Meet the three newest mouseketeers!

Mickey Mouse:

Minnie Mouse:

And Baby Mouseketeer:

Emily is now 5 lbs!!! What a big girl, considering she's almost twice her birth weight! She continues to grow and do very well. I have been able to breastfeed her twice now, and she is doing a great job, although it still takes a lot of patience and learning from both of us. She had another de-sat last night, but that was it for the day. Hopefully over the next week or two we'll see her de-sats stop completely.

Logan and Audrey had fun dressing up in their costumes and trick-or-treating around the square in Valparaiso with their cousins, Meredith and Kaitlyn, on Friday night. Audrey loved being in her costume and didn't want me to take it off at the end of the night. What can I say, she is her mother's daughter! :)

A clean face

Emily now has a clean face... no oxygen and no feeding tube. She has been taking all of her bottles by mouth, so they were able to pull out the feeding tube last Thursday and she's been doing great ever since. Now she's taking 45 ccs (1.5 oz) of breastmilk every 3 hours and she weighs 4 lbs. 12 oz! At this rate, she'll be 5 lbs. by this weekend!

All squeaky clean after her bath

On Sunday Emily was having a lot of de-sats (several in a row), so her doctor decided to put her back on oxygen again. She told us that it wasn't necessarily a "setback" but instead a reminder that Emily is only 34 weeks gestation and is still really young. But today her doctor decided to try removing the extra oxygen once again, and Emily hasn't had any de-sats all day. Maybe this time it will stay off for good... Time will tell.

Studying her mommy

My friend Jenn came to meet Emily

Hopefully just a few more weeks before Emily can come home. We're getting the house ready. We just had new carpet installed today, and we've moved Audrey into a toddler bed so the crib is ready (although we'll keep Emily in our room for the first several months). With such a difficult pregnancy (18 weeks of bleeding and bedrest) and the loss of Brianna in the not so distant past, it was hard to know how to prepare for Emily. In many ways, I didn't allow myself to believe that Emily would be a baby we could take home. Even while she was in the NICU, I didn't really envision her here at home with us. I guess I wanted to be prepared for the worst. A few weeks ago I was brave enough to purchase a large letter "E" to put above Emily's crib, but I haven't been brave enough to hang it... yet.

Now that it's looking more likely that she will be coming home at some point, I'm kind of in shock that we actually have a baby! A baby! Our baby!! I know I've been visiting her several times a week for the past 7 weeks, but it hasn't really sunk in until now. The nesting instincts are kicking in, and I'm starting to get excited. Time to wash the baby (preemie?) clothes, move Logan to the 3rd row of the car, set up a place for Emily to sleep in our room... Hard to believe she could be home in a couple weeks!

We do not ever take for granted how far we have come. 28-weekers do not have any guarantees. I had a friend online during my pregnancy with Emily who also had a subchorionic hematoma and also delivered her baby at exactly 28 weeks. She and I had very similar pregnancies. However, this friend's baby girl died at 12 days old from intestinal failure. It's so hard to know why God would choose for some babies to die and some to live, but having been on both ends of the spectrum, we know that God is good. He has a plan through both life and death, and through it all he remains the same: good.

Thank you, God, for Emily's health and progress. We don't take it for granted, and we know you have a plan for Emily's life. Help us to trust your good and perfect will and to lead Emily in a life of service for you. Amen.

p.s. Ending with a quick little video:

Movin' on up!

Emily moved up to the transitional care unit today! This is where she will start making the transition from hospital to home! It means that she's doing really well and doesn't need the intensive care that the NICU offers. Whoo-hoo!

Now Emily has her own room and it's a completely different environment than the NICU. It's much more calm and quiet, not as many alarms going off. I think we're going to like it!

The two main things that Emily needs to work on before she can come home are taking her feedings by mouth instead of the feeding tube (she did great today -- drank 5 whole bottles!) and not having any more de-sats (she had 3 de-sats today... boo!). Both of these things just take time. I think we have another 2-3 weeks at least before she'll come home. They still estimate that she'll come home around her due date (Dec. 1) but the nurse today thought maybe by Thanksgiving. Wouldn't that be something to be thankful for?! Keep praying for good days! Thanks.

Notice anything different?

No more oxygen!!

(And she's doing great!)

Fast Facts and Lots of Pictures

We are all feeling much better here in the Darling household. Thanks for your prayers. Thanks also for the cards, phone calls, meals, and gifts we've received lately. We are so blessed to have such good friends!

I was finally able to see my baby today after a week of staying away! I couldn't wait!! I got to hold her, to change her diaper, and to feed her a bottle! Emily looks so good and healthy... and so much bigger to me! She even has a double chin!! She is adorable! She seemed to recognize my voice and was very alert while I was there. I think she missed her mama too!

Thought I'd give you all some fast facts about Emily tonight and leave you with lots of pictures of our munchkin. :)

• Emily is 40 days old. (5.5 weeks)
• She is 4 lbs. 6 oz!
• She drinks 35 ccs of breastmilk every 3 hours. She practices drinking a bottle when she is awake and alert at her feeding time. Otherwise she is fed through a feeding tube that brings the millk directly to her tummy.
• She is on .3 liters of oxygen at 21% (same as room air).
• Today she had 0 de-sats that required intervention!
• In order to come home, Emily still needs to gain more weight, be weaned off her oxygen, drink all her milk from a bottle, and remain healthy. It looks like she's moving in the right direction!

p.s. These pink "hands" in this last picture are so cool! They are weighted pillows that mimic the look, feel, weight, scent, and warmth of a parent's hands to help the baby feel more comfortable. Emily loves them! Thanks to the friends who sent them. :)

Still here

Sorry for the lack of updates this past week. It has been a week of adjustments. This is the first week that we haven't had one of our moms here to help. It has been great to have them so willing to lend a hand for the past month, but it's time that we start to operate as a family of four again (before we add Emily as number five!). Logan and Audrey need that normalcy again. Over the past few weeks, Logan had been crying at random times and was concerned every time I'd leave, and Audrey was waking during the night screaming and saying "I want my Mommy!" They may be young, but they know something's up. This week has been good for the four of us to get back into "normal" again.

However, things are anything but normal around here.

I have been pumping every 3 hours around the clock to provide breastmilk for Emily. I know how important it is for her, but I'm about ready to throw that pump out the window! A machine just isn't anything like a baby. This past week I ran into some problems that made me sore, cranky, and irritable. I'll spare the details, but thankfully things are much better after meeting with my lactation consultant.

Besides that, we have all been tired, achy, and sniffly, so we've stayed away from the hospital all week.

Then tonight both Logan and Audrey got the stomach flu. Ugh!

We are all exhausted and under the weather. I feel like hibernation is in order.

Emily, on the other hand, is doing FABULOUS! Here I go on and on about our aches and sniffles, while our superstar Emily continues to thrive. Can I brag a little?

• Emily is now 4 lbs. 3 oz!!


• They have started giving her a bottle by mouth and she is drinking like a champ, taking whole bottles (30ccs) at a time! I thought they'd have to start with drops in the mouth or something while she learned to swallow, but she acts like she's been doing this forever! I can't wait 'till we're healthy enough to visit so I can try nursing her or giving her a bottle myself!


• She is now in an open-air crib since she can maintain her temperature on her own. Can't wait to see her without a lid!


• She has a couple de-sats every day, but she's pulling herself out of most of them without intervention.


• She is still on oxygen but it is at only 21%, the same as room air. The nurses think she still needs a little reminder to breathe during her deep sleep cycles (when she has her de-sats), but they might try to take the oxygen off next week.

I can't wait to visit Emily again and feel guilty for not being there this week. We'd just hate to give her any nasty germs. Pray that we will all regain our health and strength (and that Luke and I will escape the flu!) so that we can visit and encourage Emily. And praise God that she's still doing great, even without us there.

More updates with pictures to come soon, I promise!

Preemies and Pumpkins

Here's our little pumpkin! Emily is still doing great and is now 1 month old. Her leg is completely healed (we can't even see where the infection was) and she is growing by leaps and bounds. You might recall that we were excited about her weight on Tuesday at 3 lbs. 4 oz. Well.... this little girl has been packing it on these past 4 days... she is now 3 lbs. 12.4 oz!! That's an average weight gain of over 2 oz. per day! She's nearly 4 lbs. already! Go, Emily, go!!

I spent the day on Thursday snuggling with Emily since Luke's mom was here to watch Logan and Audrey. We kangarooed together for 2 hours, and it was wonderful. I just wish it wasn't such an ordeal to hold my baby... all her tubes and wires must be unhooked, stretched, and reattached, and I have to scoot my chair as close as possible to the incubator so that everything will reach. It takes a good 15-20 minutes just to get everything situated. Finally the nurse leaves and draws the curtain so we have a little bit of privacy. I rock back and forth and sing to my baby girl as I stroke her long, soft little fingers, trying to ignore all the voices, footsteps, beeping and alarms that fill the NICU. Emily and I breathe in sync and even doze off together, and we both look forward to the day when we can cuddle in the comforts of our own home.

Since the weather was so nice today, Luke and I decided to take Logan and Audrey to our local pumpkin patch. Their favorite attractions were the baby chicks and running through the corn maze. We also picked a pumpkin for our front porch and let both of the kids go on a pony ride. Oh yes, and kettle corn was enjoyed by all!

A Good Report

Good news to report: Emily's leg is looking much better today! The doctors have had her on 3 different antibiotics since Saturday, trying to find the right one to treat the infection, but it looks like they have found one that works. I was delighted to see how much better her leg looks today. We're also thankful that they caught this infection before it spread anywhere else.

Emily's vitals have been very stable and her de-sats today haven't been as low -- only into the 80s instead of the 50s-60s. Emily also had her first eye exam this morning and everything looked good. When we spoke to her doctor this afternoon, he said she is doing very well.

Emily looked chubbier to me today (as "chubby" as a 3 lb. baby can look!). The more I visit her, the more normal her size looks to me. I saw a newborn last week at church who looked absolutely huge! I guess everything is relative. They have increased Emily's feedings to 28ccs (almost 1 oz.) every 3 hours and she now weighs 3 lbs. 4 oz. Keep growing, baby girl.

A few of you have asked how I am doing with all this. Mostly, I'm doing well. I am very thankful for the good days, but I am equally as aware that anything could change quickly. I want to be hopeful but prepared. It's a tricky balance. I do feel more peace about all of this than I thought I would, though. I think life's circumstances have been teaching me to let go and trust that God has this all in His hands. (I wouldn't even know how to control all of this if I wanted to... this is a little out of my realm!)

That said, these past few days I have been worried about the infection in Emily's leg. I found myself, for the first time with Emily, concerned about her future and where this infection would lead. I didn't know exactly what to pray for or how to ask God to heal Emily's leg, but the chorus that kept coming to mind was this:

Hear our prayer, O Lord.
Hear our prayer, O Lord.
Incline thine ear to us.
And grant us thy peace.

Thankfully, Emily's leg appears to be fine, and we are grateful for God's healing act on her behalf. Thank you for your continued prayers for Emily and for our family. You lift us up and verbalize our requests when we aren't even sure what to pray for ourselves. Your prayers are sustaining all of us and providing us with peace. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. And join us in praising God for another good report!

Ronald McDonald House

The four of us (Luke, me, Logan and Audrey) spent the night last night at the Ronald McDonald house near Emily's hospital. It was a beautiful mansion with comfortable beds, a playroom for the kids, a big kitchen, and close proximity to Emily! I went to the hospital on Friday night and held Emily for 2.5 hours while Luke stayed back at the Ronald McDonald House and went to bed with Logan and Audrey at 8:00.

Emily is still doing well. She continues to have 5-6 de-sats each day that require the nurse to intervene, but she continues to put on weight and now weighs 3 lbs 2.6 oz. One new area of concern is that Emily has a skin infection on her leg. Please pray that the antibiotics she is taking will work and will control the infection.

As an added bonus, my grandparents (Emily's great-grandparents) got to meet Emily this morning. They were traveling on their way back to South Dakota and popped in for a quick visit. Emily even opened her eyes to take a quick peek at my grandma before settling herself back to sleep.