Reflections

Seven years ago, we said hello and goodbye to our first daughter, Brianna Dawn, as we held her tiny frame in our arms. 

In the past two weeks, I have grieved with a friend who lost her fifteen-year-old son, Angel, to a long fight with his medically-fragile body and another friend who lost her newborn son, Isaac, at delivery.  My heart breaks all over again for them and for my own loss again as the memories flood back.  I am wishing there was something I could say to mend their broken hearts.  I know all too well what lies ahead for these friends.  I hate the harsh reminders that we live in a fallen world and that life is so, so fragile.

This year, our annual trip to the cemetery was the bitterest, coldest year we’ve had so far.  The temperature was 10 degrees, but with the 20 mph winds, the wind chill was –17 degrees.  We plodded out to Brianna’s grave, snapped a picture, and almost immediately made our way back to the car where it still took several minutes for our fingers and cheeks to stop throbbing from the cold wind.

In the couple of minutes that we were at the grave, I noticed that someone had already brought flowers.  Fresh, red, Valentine flowers were resting against her headstone, hand-delivered by Luke’s brother Nate.  We were touched.  We also received a few cards, texts, and small gifts in Brianna’s honor.  Although our hearts still ache for the daughter whose short life we never cease to celebrate, we left knowing that our girl is loved – and remembered! 

Life is fragile, but God is faithful.

This is the first year I noticed a huge mirror on the wall at the bakery where we go for cupcakes on Brianna’s birthday every year.  I don’t know if I’ve just never looked at it before or if it is new décor, but I was reminded of this verse, “Now we see but a poor reflection, as in a mirror.”

Though we would give anything to celebrate Brianna’s 7th birthday with her in person, we thank God for His sovereign plan and the way He continues to carry it out in our life.  Now we only see what He is doing through a mirror, but one day we will know fully and see Him clearly – face to face!  Even if none of this pain makes sense right now, it will in the light of His glory.  All will be made clear.

“For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”  I Corinthians 13:12