On Thursday, Logan turned 5 years old. It's hard to believe he's already a whole hand! We celebrated Logan's birthday on Friday with his friends from preschool and a Buzz Lightyear-themed birthday party. The kids played some games, ate pizza, and then Luke set up a "space ranger training camp" in the basement where the kids earned stickers for walking on the "moon beam" (balance beam), crawling through the "toy story tunnel," and playing meteor madness, rocket blaster, and other planetary games. I think they all had a fun time!
Here are a few pictures from the party:
Logan and Buzz
Checking out their glow necklaces in the dark bathroom.
Playing Rocket Blaster in the basement. They had to knock down aliens with the rockets.
Logan requested a Mrs. Field's cookie cake this year. Yummy!
(Audrey was extremely jealous that she' didn't get to blow out the candle... in fact, she's been singing the birthday song and blowing out pretend candles ever since Logan's party. Good thing her birthday is only a month away!)
Today is Brianna’s 3rd heavenly birthday. Can’t believe it’s been three years. We took the kids to her graveside this afternoon and then ate cupcakes in Brianna’s honor at Designer Desserts in Valparaiso. This has become our yearly tradition.
One of the most frustrating things about grief right now is that life doesn’t seem to stop long enough to let me do it well (or the way I want to). Life keeps plunging forward as I struggle to put on the brakes. Even today, our visit to the cemetery was only about 5-10 minutes total (the wind was too cold for the kids) and at the bakery Logan and Audrey were climbing on the furniture, talking to other bakery patrons, and spilling crumbs all over the floor. My heart just wanted to scream “Everyone stop! I’m in the middle of reflecting on something here. Give me some time!”
Yet these three little munchkins are gifts as we continue to miss Brianna. Even though I don’t have much undistracted time these days, Logan, Audrey and Emily are God’s way of showing me that He can do more than I could ever ask or imagine. On the way to Brianna’s funeral three years ago, we saw a huge rainbow stretch across the sky. We weren’t sure how or if God would answer our prayer for more children, but through the rainbow He reminded us that He would provide. He heard our cries, answered our prayers, and worked out every detail of building our family. Especially as I hold Emily, whose pregnancy followed such a similar path to Brianna’s, I am reminded that life is a gift and a miracle, not to be taken for granted. I am forever grateful to our sweet Brianna Dawn, for she was the one who taught me what it was to suffer, to come to my knees, and to turn my worry and pain over to the Lord. A priceless gift.
So today, while remaining busy with the blessing of Brianna’s three active siblings, we remember, miss, and cherish Brianna, even if it is done in short, fragmented segments. (I’ve sat down four separate times to write this blog post.) As I look at the pictures of Brianna and see my raw emotions and open grief, I am thankful for the blessing of perspective – for the little girl who forever changed my life and for the many blessings that she left behind, as well as the many blessings that have followed her. I am reminded, amidst the pain of her absence, that I have much and that God is faithful.
It's a winter wonderland around here! Snow is everywhere! It's piled high along the sides of roads and driveways; no one knows where to go with so much snow! And it's not melting anytime soon either. Brrrrrr! I guess if it's here to stay, we might as well grab a few winter pictures. Logan and Audrey like the snow in short increments, usually about 15-20 minutes at a time. It's a lot of work to dress them head-to-toe for such a short amount of time, but the sunshine and vitamin D is good for them.
Emily had a doctor's appointment on Friday to get her monthly synagis shot (a monthly injection that helps protect high-risk babies from RSV). She now weighs 12 lbs. 5 oz. and is downright chunky! Hard to believe!
I'll leave you with a few pics of Logan and Audrey playing in the snow.
Blizzzzzard!! Today was a snow day for everyone. Luke didn't go to work, and Logan didn't go to preschool. With nearly 20" of snow in the past 24 hours, no one was going anywhere! (Except Luke, who went outside many times to shovel!) I'm posting a picture of our view out the front door -- a whiteout! We could barely see the house across the street. Can you spot our mailbox to the left? Yeah, no mail was delivered here today.
The kids played outside for a little while, until they got too cold! The picture at the top of the blog shows how high the drift was by our front door. Taller than the kids! Hopefully it will warm up a little in the next few days so they can do some fort and snowman building with Luke. (I'll stay indoors with Emily.) :)
We had fun with our snow day today. Luke set up our camping tent indoors, and Logan and Audrey had fun playing house and little people in there all day. We also watched movies, baked cookies, listened to music, and watched the snow through the windows. A fun family day!
